Those poor oil sheiks

“March 8 (Bloomberg) -- Crude oil surged to within $1 of an all-time high in New York, and gasoline rose to a record, on speculation that OPEC will do little to rein in prices at a meeting next week.”

This really burns my wazoo.

So, I called His Royal Highness, Sheik Ali Gotta Makealot of Dinero, a small but wealthy community just north of Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

“Sheik, why can’t OPEC get together and reign in prices? Can’t you guys see that plunging the world into another recession would cut into your profits a lot more than a reasonable production increase would?”

“American infidels have been getting gasoline far below its market value for many years. After all, you’re paying half of what fuel costs in Europe.”

“Well, it’s not just Americans who suffer. After all, European prices are skyrocketing, as well.”

“Well, what you decadent western hedonists don’t realize is that life isn’t so cushy for us hard-working oil barons. After all, our gas prices have gone up too! I just paid 50 cents a gallon to fill my Rolls. FIFTY CENTS A GALLON!”

“I remember the first time I paid fifty cents a gallon. It was 1973.”

“Not only that, but we don’t make THAT MUCH profit. My swimming pools are going to pot because I can’t afford to hire college-educated caretakers. I have to settle for a small troupe of IMMIGRANTS. From PAKISTAN!”

“That’s a shame, sheik. You know, you’ve really changed my perspective on things. I feel your pain!”

I think I’ll ride my bicycle to work tomorrow.