Russell Crowe's kidnapping and our culture's demise

“SYDNEY, Australia — Russell Crowe says Usama bin Laden's Al Qaeda terror network wanted to kidnap him as part of a "cultural destabilization plot," according to an Australian magazine.”

OK, let me get this straight.

Russell Crowe’s kidnapping would culturally destabilize us?

Yikes, the mammoth size of the Hollywood ego.

I happen to be a Russell Crowe fan. I thought A Beautiful Mind was a great movie, and, despite the fact that its ending is no longer a surprise, it bears up to repeated watchings. That’s the sign of the greatest movies.

But his kidnapping would destabilize our culture?

Here are a few names of folks whose kidnappings would REALLY have an impact:

Neil Young The man is still rocking and producing quality music in his sixties. His most recent release of Greendale shows he has lots more greatness in him.

George Foreman The former heavyweight champion has become a cultural icon. He has spurned his irresponsible dietary habits, and has turned the public on to fat-free cooking. He’s inspiring all of us to live longer and healthier.

Randy Quaid Now, no offense to Mr. Crowe, but how many movie roles has he played that caused people to say “Nobody but Russell Crowe could have played that part.” The fact is that if you’re looking for a good-natured redneck guy with more facets than a diamond, you’re going to hire Billy Bob Thornton if it’s a serious part, or Randy Quaid if it’s for laughs. The man is a genius among geniuses, and could conceivably bring down our culture with his untimely disappearance.

Billy Bob Thornton Same comments as for Randy Quaid, only not quite so funny, and more appealing to left-wingers.

So, Mr. Crowe, perhaps you feel that culture would be upended by your disappearance, but I respectfully make a case that there are those whose effect upon society is greater than yours.