Michael Jackson's Defense Strategy

We as a society have grown accustomed to certain events taking place every few years. For instance, the Olympics. Presidential elections. Dallas Cowboys arrests. And, of course, Michael Jackson trials.

Michael Jackson has undergone about as many transformations as Sam Beckett (that’s the Quantum Leap guy, for all you who didn’t watch the tube before reality TV raised its ugly head). He went from cute kid with a big voice to a disco-spinning teenager to an allegedly religious young adult to his present incarnation: a whacko that sticks out far and above the rest of the whackos in southern California.

(OK, before the hate mail begins, I was a California resident myself for four years. And yes, I know Santa Barbara isn’t technically southern California. But it’s on the border, and it rolls off the tongue better than southern central coast California.)

Anyhoo, Jackson’s attorneys have been busy accusing the mother of the child in question of being a sponge looking to make some bucks off of a celebrity. Jackson, the innocent victim in this ruse, will surely deserve an apology after this obvious miscarriage of justice results in a complete acquittal.

I guess that’s not a bad strategy. But is it the best defense tactic?

What about questioning the woman’s sanity?

You see, she is the one who allowed her child to stay over at Michael’s house in the first place. Did she really think Neverland was a haven for children? Did she really view MJ as a gentle teddy-bear of a guy who would take good care of any kids left in his loving charge? Did she not foresee any problems leaving her tot with someone who bleached his skin, dangled his baby off a railing, and has had so much plastic surgery that his features are detachable?

No doubt about it, the gal is loony tunes.