Lisa Marie Defines Her Marriage to Jacko as "Real"

In a recent interview, Lisa Marie Presley told Oprah Winfrey that her two-year marriage to Michael Jackson was “real.”

Oy.

No offense, Lisa Marie, but are you really qualified to define reality?

It wasn’t your fault that your parents happened to be Elvis and Priscilla Presley. However, such an ancestry severely limits ones concept of what constitutes reality.

Elvis is arguably one of the most talented musicians ever to arise from the US gene pool. He is nearly as renowned for the placing of his life into the hands of professional exploiter "Colonel" Tom Parker. Parker defined Elvis’s post-50’s career as one bad b-movie after another, followed by a series of Vegas bookings that turned America’s premier rock-and-roller into a bizarre and much-imitated caricature of himself. Oh, and the Colonel kept the prescription drugs flowing, too. Unfortunately for Mr. Parker, his cash cow expired prematurely, although his take of the posthumous earnings remained quite healthy.

Then, there’s Priscilla.

Priscilla is one of the most familiar faces that you’ve ever seen on TV and in the magazines, because of her renowned gift for . . . what?

Shades of Ed McMahon! She is famous because of her association with a gifted individual, while apparently having little or no talent herself.

So, with a bloodline like that, it’s not surprising that Lisa Marie would define her marriage to Michael Jackson as “real.”

Matrimony with America’s most whacked-out celebrity (quite a title, when you think about it) may well have been one of the more real moments in this poor, confused youngster’s life.