Britney Spears and Her New TV Series

“Tired of all the false tabloid' rumors about her life with hubby Kevin Federline, Britney Spears is exercising the obvious prerogative of any celebrity who values her privacy: She's starring in a reality show.”

So let me get this straight.

Britney Spears, whose singing talent is dwarfed only by that of Rosanne Arnold, is venturing into the entertainment cesspool that is reality TV. This being the same Britney who frequently lashes out at those who provide her with what she needs more than life itself: publicity.

Britney sprang onto the scene a few years ago, proclaiming her chastity while starring in some rather racy music videos. She became the spokesperson for the new generation who is “saving themselves for marriage,” while at the same time experiencing epidemic STD’s from doing things that are dubiously classified as being within the realm of saving oneself.

What a perfect candidate for reality TV. This unfortunate genre sprang on the scene with the 2000 debut of CBS’s Survivor, which crawled out of the mire of some exec’s imagination to become a highly rated and eagerly followed Thursday night waste of time. Scantily-clad egotists compete in silly activities and vote each other off the show. I’m not sure how that works, because I would assume that when it got down to two, the votes would cancel each other out.

The high ratings of the show, while testifying poorly about the population’s intelligence in general, have also spawned innumerable clones, involving the eating of vermin, volunteers being buried alive, the catching of cheating spouses, the forcing of urban dilettantish vacuumheads to live on the farm, the airing of dysfunctional rock star familys' daily doings, etc. etc. The greatest irony is that it is called “reality.”

So now, the queen of lightweight talent will foist yet another “reality” series upon us.

I’m glad she finally found her true calling. She and the genre deserve each other.